I'm Feeling 22

Last week, I turned 22. 

Well past the “-teen”, but still a long way to go into the twenties.

  

Just when can you say you’ve grown up? Is there a point where your thinking and behavior changes? It’s different for everyone, but mine came after a series of events (that are not necessarily bad) during my last year of college. It paved the way for the shift from idealistic to realistic.

 I am certainly no longer the same person you’ve known or encountered two years ago and earlier. For a while, I worried if my once happy-go-lucky and fearless personality was lost forever and frantically scrambled to get it back. Lately, I realized that it was only a natural part of growing up. It’s not to be labeled either a good or a bad thing. It just did.

Here's my list of changes:

1. A day without social media actually feels good (yes, trust me, people). Living in a connected world, it's difficult to completely give it up, but try going for a day without it. It can clear your mind. If you notice, social media also gives you an inflated ego to be careful about. Stay grounded. 

2. Events and experiences that I was once so hyped about are, in hindsight, very trivial. Why did I make a big fuss over attending it? FOMO (fear of missing out) was real at the time. And again, social media plays an important role in our pursuit to capture experiences. I am now leaning towards convenience rather than the novelty of an experience. 

3. Popularity does not matter so much as being true to yourself. I'm happy to say that I am much more comfortable being myself now. When I was younger, I noticed how I would try to impress others, but now find it unnecessary. Not everyone will like you and that's okay. I've accepted that. 

4. Some experiences are just glamorous to look at, but is hard to live out. All those kids going on study tours abroad? It isn't always as great as it may sound. From friends who've done it, they've shared less glamorous times. In my case of staying abroad for one month, at times, stress levels spiked to heights they never reached before. 

And celebrities living the life? The amount of pressure they receive from the public is very difficult to live with. We can be envious of what we don't know. 

5. Friendships are selected. Not all the people who claim to be your friend is your friend. How will you know? Usually, if there's a competitive air, that's an indication. Some may also come and go, but the people who matter are there for you when you need them. Let go of the "friends" and keep the real ones. Get in touch with them often. They can be a source of support when it gets difficult. 

6. Sometimes, the best response is no response. We often have the desire to be heard, but some situations just doesn't call for it. Silence can be deafening too, you know. 

7. Expectations are lowered, nothing’s perfect. I have to admit that for the longest time, I lived inside a bubble. I looked at the world so beautifully. So when I graduated, I expected the same, only to be crushed. College may have been beautiful, but the rest of the world isn't. It's being able to reconcile your expectations and reality that will help you in life.

8. Happiness is much, much harder to obtain. It takes effort to see the goodness of life, especially when you are now aware of the bad parts. As a result, I developed a higher standard for happiness. It became something I placed effort to. Appreciate it when it comes. 

9. Life is really difficult, problematic, and complicated, but there’s always a choice. I know I have to be a tough cookie to live it out, but never give up and work hard. Because of that, I’m thankful to simpler experiences and to people who are supportive, sincere and with whom I just naturally click with.

10. My metabolism slowed down :( Enough said.

Kidding aside, some things just hit you with age. As I grew older, these thoughts and changes naturally occurred to me. I understand that we all grow differently, but I hope that you give yourself the time to grow, allow the mistakes to learn from, and accept your imperfectness. 

I still have a long way to go and to be honest, it seems to be very daunting. I’m sure I’m not the only one feeling this based from numerous conversations with fellow graduates. So let’s cheer each other on.

...

faith